Everything Feels Flat
Levelling out the highs and lows
I will be interested if there’s any comments on this. But as a business owner, one of the things that I’ve noticed, is that over the years, I’ve developed a sort of emotional firewall.
It’s like an internal shift that helps me to detach from the daily challenges, stresses and anxiety of a Managing Director.
A coping mechanism perhaps, flattening out the lows and trying to keep a healthy perspective.
If we take this in the context of a full-on day in the office…
Wake up, flood of emails
Traffic, more traffic, school run, traffic
Site emergency alert pings, deal with this
Client has an issue, alert team
Sales presentation / pitch
Internal issue
Decisions, and more decisions
Someone missed a supplier invoice and they’re chasing
Sales handover
etc etc
Days are hectic, varied and challenging. Deep down I thrive on this and it’s a big part of how I’ve grown at the business over the years. Every day is a new challenge… But there is a slightly weird knock on effect…
The lows are flattened out and more ‘contained’ but equally the highs are then less euphoric. Everything feels a bit flat.
Is this a good coping mechanism? I suspect probably in business it is, to a point.
Is this emotional detachment or is it perspective?
The Emotional Firewall
To be clear, this isn’t about trying to control your emotions.
Will you a get waves of anxiety, fear and overwhelm?
Yes, absolutely, anything difficult is likely to lead to this.
But, the concept of an emotional firewall is more about what you ‘let in’ and what you choose to care about. In computing, a firewall is precisely that - what the computer lets in or out, filtering out the noise or unwanted traffic.
One of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People teaches us
Between stimulus and response, there is a space.
I think as a leader, you need to develop as much buffer as you can, maintaining a mindful gap to analyse and question your emotions, and how they may or may not be serving you.
Emotionally Numb… or Just Experienced?
Of course, as the business grows, the chances of issues happening, along with bigger challenges and curveballs increases.
Is it possible to maintain your emotions and stay sane?
I suspect the trick is to just be mindful of your emotions, not fighting them.
I’ve found, as the years have gone on, that I’m better at noticing the patterns in my emotions…
“Oh I’m overwhelmed and on edge today”
- why might that be?
- how did I solve it before?
“Oh I feel like this, I’ve been here before”
- what happened last time?
- how long to move forward
- when might it pass
Plus you tend to develop better coping mechanisms and appreciation of the downtime that’s needed to give your mind and body the space to recover.
Things like -
Writing down the issues
Blocking out thinking time to work on the problems
Developing an appreciation of what you can control and what you can’t
Heading outside and building movement.
So I think it’s important to maintain a gentle disconnect with your emotions, whilst being mindful of them and using them to inform your direction of travel and the biggest challenges you need to solve…